January 7, 2011

Letters to you: Gearing Up

Letters to you: Gearing Up -
For the last (at least I hope so) big bump in the road- homecoming. Advon arrived back and it hurt more than I realized. Allllllll of these statuses and updates took over my news feed and it broke my heart. I can tell how excited everyone is and it's getting so close. I want to be excited. I want to be making homecoming signs. I want to go shopping for a new outfit. I want to feel that nervous excited. BUT I don't feel any of it. No signs. No new outfit. No good feelings. Nothing.

I am going to go. I don't know how I will react other than tears. I need to prepare myself mentally to go through it. I know that it won't be easy, but I have to go. If I don't I can keep convincing myself that you're just away. You would want me to go and I think you'll be proud of me if I do. I fully intend on making a friend of yours go with me. I can't be alone and I need them to be there. All be darned if I'm going to watch all of these girls run to their boyfriends/fiances/husbands and stand there alone. Not going to happen. Someones gotta take one for the team and let me cry with them.

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