January 10, 2011

Wife of a Wounded Marine: Life is Fragile

Wife of a Wounded Marine: Life is Fragile -

I was looking in the mirror at my stomach and was thinking about how much I cannot stand it and would truly appreciate it if it would go away. As I was obsessing I had a flashback (I have them often...) about a night Cleve and I were sitting in bed and I was complaining about my weight. He went on and on about how beautiful he thought I was and how he thought my body was perfect to him...

The flashbacks are vivid. And they are always so random.

When I snapped out of the memory and moved on to whatever I was doing it hit me that it is so weird how someone can be living, and breathing, and have thoughts, and feelings, and emotions, and opinions, and have this HUGE effect on your life.... then just be gone. This person was my weakness. If he cried, I cried. If he upset me, it was the end of the world. When he broke my heart, I had never felt such excruciating pain. When he complimented me, I was on top of the world! When he smiled, my heart would melt. When he came out of surgeries, I might as well have been coming out of surgery, too. He had such an effect on me....and now he's goneeee. This... person in the ground.... use to be someone. And now he isn't someone anymore???

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