February 24, 2011

This year I’m angry...

From Knottie's Niche by Knottie -
Tomorrow marks three years since the Sgt. And Chaplain knocked on the door and uttered the most horrific words a military family can hear. The first year I was sad.. just plain sad. Last year I was sad and sentimental. This year I had made up my mind to celebrate my sweet son. But instead I’m mad as hell. The anger is so intense it physically hurts. I know the healthy thing to do is to channel the anger into something positive, which is what I usually do. Everyone who knows me knows I am all about turning the poison into medicine. But right now I just want to be mad. I want to scream and yell and hit someone and demand they tell me why I can’t hug my son. Why wasn’t he the best man at his brother’s wedding.. or there to convince him to take a little time and think it through more. I want to know why I can’t call him and tell him he is going to be an Uncle. I want to know why this nation is so damned ungrateful ( and yes I know many are grateful but more are not) I am just so angry. It’s not fair dammit! I shouldn’t be going to eat Chinese Thursday to remember him I should be packing a care package to send to him or having lunch with him. I should be calling him for no real reason and just checking on him.

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