March 22, 2011

Here we go again

From She Who Waits by Stephanie -
I stood in the kitchen Saturday afternoon just hugging my husband, unwilling to let go. Not crying, not hysterical, just hugging. He'd returned from the base for the day with a date. The date. You know, the one that just makes your shoulders sag with acceptance and dread? Yeah, that one. He'll be gone again soon, very soon. As we embraced, CNN was on in the background as yet another dictator was being fired upon by UN allies; I briefly wondered how many families were being affected in the same way by the news (worry and anxiety about their loved ones) and how many were just going about their days with only a brief glance (or none at all) at the news.

His deployment was moved up, not by weeks but by months. At this point, it may be several months longer than normal, we don't know. It threw a lot of our plans out the window, not the least of which was to get pregnant. We tried, but the option to get pregnant naturally before he leaves is officially gone now, and all I feel is numb. We want a baby so bad and now we wait, again.

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