March 21, 2011

One Month

From **Wife of a Wounded Marine** by Karie -
I'm going to be a baby for a minute.

Today is March 20th. One month until the year anniversary of my husbands death. I'm typically not one to be obsessed with dates. I'm not very sentimental (My parents weren't either...) And. April 20th is just another day, really. However, the closer it gets, the more my chest feel like it's going to cave in. Breathing is a little bit harder. The tears are pushing their way out. That numb feeling is inching it's way back.

I'm trying to pinpoint what it is that is bothering me so much. I think part of it is that this year has gone by so fast. I'm not sure where it went. That bothers me. I think there is also a part of my brain that has convinced me this whole thing never really happened. That date doesn't even exist. Also, the thought that he has been gone from the world for that long. I don't like that. It doesn't seem right. I dunno. I just need a fast forward button.

This month has been weird, anyway.

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